I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize