Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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