And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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