idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
