i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
