420 ftw
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
