Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
