Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
