hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
