lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
