I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
