Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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