Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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