Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
