My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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