I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
