Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
