I'm so fucking centered right now
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
