turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize