Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
