went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
