i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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