You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
