Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
