K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
