Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
