Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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