Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
