Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
