Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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