dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
