We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
