Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
