My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
