Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
