I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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