It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
