will power is for people who don't want to get laid
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
