There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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