Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
