You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
