he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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