Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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