it hurts more in the daytime
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Someone came in the potted fern
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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