God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm getting married
To pizza
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
