THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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