I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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