Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
