She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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