singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
