I want to stick my p in your. b.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
