how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
