im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
