she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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