Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
