She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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