I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize