Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry bip hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(573): View more from Missouri

I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.

Fav 16 3183 835
share tweet
(808): View more from Hawaii

Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.

Fav 8 6431 1482
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(269): View more from Michigan

when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.

Fav 16 7697 1331
share tweet
(516): View more from New York

The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

Fav 14 4502 1285
share tweet
(978): View more from Massachusetts

he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works

Fav 11 4769 2152
share tweet
(832): View more from Houston, Texas

You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry

Fav 21 2232 5021
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(703): View more from Virginia

I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

Fav 4 2703 1312
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(720): View more from Colorado

side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?

Fav 5 415 778
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(240): View more from Maryland

He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!

Fav 1 38 11
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT