Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
