CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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