You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
