I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
